I could tell that I was supposed to be like, 'Whoa! My teeny little brain never saw that coming!' IT NEVER HAPPENED! We are first cousins! We can never be together! Fuck our fuckin' life!' she whines.Īngelini tries to confuse the readers with her many plot twists, but all the plot really does is run around the mulberry bush chasing the weasel. 'OMG! So we won't destroy the world after all! I'm horny. It would destroy the world!' Lucas cries. '.she decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. They break curse/spell/whatever and fall in love over night. Helen and Lucas almost kill each other. Lucas and his Brady Bunch family move to the neighborhood. 'Unbefrickinglievable,' Hector cusses quietly into the silence. It was painfully obvious that they were trying entirely too hard to sound like 'hip' teens.

There were countless pages of info-dumping as well.

Run!' Metaphors and similes exsit for a reason. 'See Helen Spot run? Helen Spot can run fast! Run, Helen Spot. The book is littered with ridiculously simple sentences that remind me of a children's book. 'Noooooooooo, don't make us! You are evil! You are heartless! Why do you hate us! We've been good to you!' I'm not exaggerating when I say this was amateur at best and eye-bleeding bad at worse. Hahahaha!ĭear, Gandhi! It was terrible! Immediately when I started to read, I felt my eye balls start rebuking me. I've been trolled by the Lord of the Underworld himself. The only logical answer is that Hades himself was behind the plot to fry my remaining brain cells. I was conned! Fooled! Bamboozled! Hoodwinked! This one time I let myself be influenced by another popular reviewer who claimed to absolutely love this book. Why did I think this would be a different story? I will never doubt your wisdom again, ladies. I almost ALWAYS agree with them on books. They warned me of this, but I didn't listen. Why, oh, why did I read it? I should have listened to the Fates ( Kat, Paige, Phoebe). How about this:Īfter reading this shit storm of a book I feel like I should go straight to my book shelf and give 'Catastrophe': Hush, Hush, 'My Eyes, They Bleed!': House of Night, 'Kill it with Fire!': Twilight, and even, yes, 'Are You Fuckin' Kidding Me?!': Carrier of the Mark all 5 glorious stars. No, wait, that doesn't fully express my hatred for Starcrossed.

I should have known that when Lauren Kate blurbed this book I wouldn't like it.

Starcrossed angelini